ANGER MANAGEMENT

On the other day when I was role playing in a Soft Skills Workshop organized by Infosys in Hyderabad, a person hit my spectacles and it was broken. Suddenly I got angry and I thought of hitting him back. I could not control my feelings and emotions for a moment and I was about to outburst because I did not have any spare spects at that time. But I immediately controlled my anger because it happened accidentally, unconsciously and unintentionally. The other person regretted for hitting and for breaking my spects even though it happened without any negative intention. Had the situation been intentional I would have suddenly expressed my anger and would have warned him sternly for the same.

WHAT IS ANGER?

It is a state of emotional outburst related to the psyche of the individual. Some people ascribe it due to genetic factors and some are grown up to be angry when their social upbringing was subjected to severe criticism in their childhood. Also when a section of people are neglected for a long time or suppressed or oppressed they vent out anger in multiple proportions. One thing is certain and sure that there is always danger in anger. A few people express anger frequently by their very nature.

CAUSES:

Psychology of an individual plays a crucial role in finding out the reasoning for sudden outburst. The inability to judge the people properly or due to preconceived notions or prejudices can result into anger. Whenever there is a vast gap between one's expectations and realities, the problem begins. Individuals tend to develop either sympathy or antipathy towards other individuals. If there is strong antipathy against a particular person, then again the problems crop in. When the issues are kept pending or when not addressed appropriately, that becomes a danger signal. Lack of openness and sharing can create problems. It is often the clash of egos and conflicts. Wrong inputs may lead to complications. Improper time management at the work place may result in delay and thus resulting in anger. When an individual is unable to look at the things from others' perspective due to lack of empathy, then also anger builds up.

At the work front when an individual does not reach his prescribed targets then the emotions outburst and self-criticism starts. Both the internal and external factors play crucial deciding factors. If any pressure due to external, an individual attacks on others. If any mistake because of one, one resorts to self-criticism. In this case, it becomes a psychological problem.

EFFECTS:

It is like tsunami effect for both the individual and for the individuals in and around both physically and psychologically. Heart beat increases and may result in transferring the anger to somebody and which further complicates the matter worse. There will be no concentration on the work and leading to negativism and feeling strongly that all are wrong.

At the corporate level due to the increased competition and workload, people are developing high stress levels and subsequently burning out. Long years of relations that have been tried and tested and are built based on mutual trust and confidence will break up with in no time. In corporate world, anger results in loss of clients and loss of business, which in turn leads to loss of prospects. Society does not accept people with anger and such people become socially inept. They are treated as liability not as an asset in the corporate world. It ends in loss of respect and image. Of course, there is sudden relief to mind and one feels relaxed after losing temper. One can recoup fresh energies, which is the only silver lining over the dark cloud of anger. 'Where there is anger, there will be affection' goes famous Tamil saying which is another positivity from negativity.

TOOLS AND TECHNIQUES TO OVERCOME:

The first and foremost thing is not to attack the person but the behavior of the person. Identify the problem why the other person went that much extreme. Once the hidden feelings or emotions are noticed then the half battle on anger is won. Firstly, the angered person must label his feelings. Secondly, there is need to express and report the root cause of such feelings. Thirdly, there is a strong need to take action before it becomes a volcano. And fourthly, there is a need to follow up the entire process in a systematic manner.

An individual must introspect and take intrapersonal feedback within himself about the causes, consequences and then about the credibility of the anger. If an individual is honest at the core he can judge himself and can come out of it successfully. Secondly, he can meet a trusted friend and explain the scenario frankly in order to verify and cross check from his judgement. If there is contradiction between the individual and the other person then the solution, which is more genuine, should be adopted.

An individual can go and talk to friends forgetting the anger and relax himself. While sympathy makes the other person better it is in fact the empathy that makes the other person stronger. Pinpointing the problem is the right method and analyzing the same from the root provides the right solution. A mature man resorts to quick correction and limits the damage. It requires extraordinary courage to go for self-analysis and introspection to manage the damage. Doing meditation and yoga can bring fresh energies to the mind. It also enhances creative energy and brings down the tempers to the lowest level. Addressing and redressing the grievances without any delay is essential.

ANGER MANAGEMENT:

The organizations are taking the concept of anger management very seriously and the concept is added in many seminars because of growing stress levels due to stiff competition. Everyone is serious and is working harder and smarter in order to prove himself. When one fails in reaching his targets or goals or deadlines at the work front then there will be strained relations with in the companies.

Drinking water when one feels that one is irritated and feels strongly that it will result into sudden outburst will prove to be handy. Counting numbers from 1 to 10 and vice versa can contain the anger. Keeping quiet for sometime is also a good thing. Or leave the room so that the tempers can be averted. It is also necessary to go separately from the scene and do inhaling and exhaling exercises as it avoids embarrassing situation and also gives fresh oxygen to mind. Be cool and go in front of the mirror and force yourself for a repeated smile.

CONCLUSION:

Amitabh Bachhan was known as an angry young man in his initial celluloid career. He put his anger in aggression and acted in selective roles and succeeded in his celluloid world. He knew his strengths and weaknesses and he intelligently converted his weaknesses into strengths by channeling his energies in a creative and stylish manner.

Globally renowned Gold sportsperson, Tiger Woods is also noted for aggression and for his razor sharp tongue. He also utilized his energies in a constructive and creative manner and is a global celebrity.

MESSAGE:

All human beings are not free from weaknesses. Channelise the hidden emotions and energies in a creative and constructive form so as to vent our feelings softly rather than harshly. We can change, transform by fine-tuning our skills and abilities. Let us all put sincere efforts to turn our scars into stars for building a society, which is full of love, peace and harmony.

THE END